Manchester United need more rottweilers and fewer labradors as Erik ten Hag’s struggling team travel to West Ham for a vital Premier League game this afternoon
Manchester United need more rottweilers and fewer labradors as Erik ten Hag’s struggling team travel to West Ham for a vital Premier League game this afternoon Manchester United need more rottweilers and fewer labradors as Erik ten Hag’s struggling team travel to West Ham for a vital Premier League game this afternoon
At some point along British Cycling and Team Sky’s road to dominance in the velodrome and on the roads, Sir Dave Brailsford’s close confidant Steve Peters categorised the riders as four different dog breeds.
There were rottweilers – ruthless winners who can snap at you when upset by someone or something. Record Tour de France stage winner Sir Mark Cavendish, for instance, or Roy Keane.
Alsatians were loyal and dependable. Great to have as part of a team but perhaps lacking the killer instinct in the decisive moments.
Labradors were helpful to have too but possessing a fragile ego. They needed frequent reminders that they are appreciated to continue being a workhorse.
And then there were poodles, unable to follow orders and prone to doing as they wish. The breed you cannot have in a successful team, according to Britain’s best known sports psychologist.
Which brings us to Manchester United.
Perhaps Brailsford, INEOS’ director of sport, remains so compelled by Peters’ method that he has already broken the players into breeds.
Either way it seems, despite £178m of investment this summer, there remains too few rottweilers in Erik ten Hag’s squad.
Scroll down the list of players at Old Trafford and how many can be considered ruthless winners?
Being generous Bruno Fernandes has that mentality. Maybe. Casemiro, too, considering the medals he collected at Real Madrid – although his current passive temperament might be more in line with a Saint Bernard.
Mark Cavendish celebrates winning his record 35th stage at the Tour this summer. He was considered a rottweiler.
There are not many poodles, either. In football parlance they are described as bad eggs or troublemakers and it would be unfair to claim many at Carrington are behaving egregiously.
But United do seem to have too many alsatians and labradors who do not feel loved.
In every corner of the dressing room there are players who can make the collective better at their best but are, in four-legged terms, currently sitting in their basket in the corner of the room moping.
That is mostly down to the players’ own mentalities. Too many lack hunger and seem happy to pick up their hefty paychecks without wearing the latest poor result heavily enough.
But how much of that is down to the wider culture at the club? The environment is another area – or buzzword – that Brailsford was big on helming during his successful time in cycling.
Erik ten Hag needs a win at West Ham on Sunday
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Image:
Agit Erdi Ulukaya/Getty Images)
And United’s culture remains in a grave state after more than a decade of rot.
Ten Hag – who also has a host of puppies to nurture – may be taking much of the flak for United’s dismal start to the season. And, beyond results, the lack of a clear playing style is certainly worthy of criticism.
But perhaps the dogs at his disposal – plenty of them his signings – must also find their bark entering a spell that will decide the head coach’s future. It is time for many of them to prove whether or not, as they say in US sports, they have Got That Dog In Them.
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